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Daily Deviation
February 4, 2013
Eurydice by ~williamszm Suggester Writes: In this haunting sonnet, the author brings a tragic heroine to vivid life
Featured by BeccaJS
Suggested by LadyofGaerdon
Literature Text
His voice enveloped me, and I became
Myself again--I heard it in the song:
A mordent on a note he held too long;
A stutter in his voice. I heard my name
In these and felt a happiness the same
As when I saw him first. Oh, I had longed
To hear him sing again, but this last song--
It was so beautiful. And it remains
The best of human works, though none shall hear
Its sorrowed notes; the lyre's meand'ring tune
Through vast arpeggios and Death's expanse
Except the dead. It will not disappear
'Till all the world's destroyed, and hell's exhumed--
Such music must be worth a backwards glance.
Myself again--I heard it in the song:
A mordent on a note he held too long;
A stutter in his voice. I heard my name
In these and felt a happiness the same
As when I saw him first. Oh, I had longed
To hear him sing again, but this last song--
It was so beautiful. And it remains
The best of human works, though none shall hear
Its sorrowed notes; the lyre's meand'ring tune
Through vast arpeggios and Death's expanse
Except the dead. It will not disappear
'Till all the world's destroyed, and hell's exhumed--
Such music must be worth a backwards glance.
Literature
October Eyes
Such gentle colors drip across your freckled shoulder blades.
A quilt of puddled watercolors soaked in auburn shades.
Spun of golden rivulets and rinsed in autumn skies,
So many endless currents swimming through your lonesome eyes.
Brushing under fingertips and over shattered songs,
Unraveling like morning glaze against my paling palms.
With beauty like October hills and hollow as the skies,
The water drops against the earth will be our lullaby.
Literature
Fifty
Please understand: I do not want
to want this (you).
I realized at poem nineteen-of-fifty:
You (college-borne) are a new you,
I (weaponized) am a new me,
and the new me still wants the new you.
Literature
Simbelmyne
There is silence here, upon
stale skull tombs—
these everminds are stilling...
(And yet their tragedies
shall endure in the pallor of the
flowers in your hands.)
Suggested Collections
Featured in Groups
A sonnet! This is a companion piece to my Orpheus Sonnet, from the prospective of his wife, Eurydice.
It is written in petrarchan sonnet form, and was a bit of a struggle. I had a difficult time getting all the ideas I had about how she would respond into the poem--that's why sonnets are so challenging (and fun)!
Anyway, some questions:
Any awkward meter/rhyme/punctuation/grammar?
How did you like the turn? Too obvious?
What about the last line? I originally had "I know this must be worth a backwards glance." Which do you prefer?
Your opinions on the Eurydice presented here?
How does this fit with Orpheus sonnet, if you care to read that one as well?
And other comments/critiques/feedback are always welcome.
Thank you again!
(for twr: [link])
OrpheusDarkness encompassed me; high-vaulting fire
Leapt and burnt the vision from my gaze
But though I could not see, I strummed my lyre
Until the music swept away the haze
And I could stumble onwards through the mire.
Now I strum no more. What use are lays?
Save to remind me of my lost desire
That I betrayed--let silence fill my days!
For I, whose song once moved the gods to weep
No longer can make melodies from woe--
No dissonance expresses pain so deep
And no music can be as beautiful
As that which I have lost. Let others come
And fill the void with noise--I will not strum.
It is written in petrarchan sonnet form, and was a bit of a struggle. I had a difficult time getting all the ideas I had about how she would respond into the poem--that's why sonnets are so challenging (and fun)!
Anyway, some questions:
Any awkward meter/rhyme/punctuation/grammar?
How did you like the turn? Too obvious?
What about the last line? I originally had "I know this must be worth a backwards glance." Which do you prefer?
Your opinions on the Eurydice presented here?
How does this fit with Orpheus sonnet, if you care to read that one as well?
And other comments/critiques/feedback are always welcome.
Thank you again!
(for twr: [link])
© 2012 - 2024 williamszm
Comments78
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Overall Vision Originality Technique ImpactI love this. You've really brought her character to life and explained her motivations. I definitely prefer "Such music must be worth a backwards glance." It's the perfect ending. I quite enjoyed the turn. <img src="e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s…" width="15" height="15" alt="
" title=" (Smile)"/>I didn't notice any awkwardness - indeed, the flow is quite perfect, I think.
The Eurydice presented here is very much how I would picture her - sad, regretful, but still very much - alive can't be the right word, obviously, but she does feel dynamic.
I read the Orpheus sonnet first, and I like this one better. That's probably just because I relate better to Eurydice. Her voice is just so strong here. But I quite enjoyed the Orpheus sonnet as well, and I think they go wonderfully together. I'm glad you wrote both.