literature

Sonnet XLVI: Wetland

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williamszm's avatar
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Literature Text

We saw a crane. Its dipping beak broke through
the brush of cattail stalks, and bent the slip
of waves on weeds; of waves on sprawling blooms
that rose against the swell, then fell. The limp

of fungus-dusted foam flowed after it.
We saw the arching flash of murdered fish
its sun-caught scales a pierce of flame new-lit
with all of beauty we could ever wish.

You waded in the algae-green that grew
on every scrap of shore. You sloughed thick mud
beneath your feet, and let frayed roots crawl through
each step—and you kept moving towards the blood.

I know we are not water-birds, but I
seeing you striving there, dreamed you could fly.
And another sonnet. I will write other poems someday, but I'm in rather a sonnet mood. This one is a bit vaguer, perhaps, than some I typically write, so I'd especially appreciate critiques on it--even just what your impressions are, or what you take from it.
© 2015 - 2024 williamszm
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Parsat's avatar
I can imagine this scene somewhere in the Everglades or at my friend's place in South Carolina. I really like how dynamic this piece is, just like the crane it describes. The volta is in the couplet, and it's excellent, but I think that it's weirdly constructed: "but I/seeing you striving there, dreamed you could fly". The grammar there is really awkward...I suppose you could put a comma after "I", but the last line could be changed up a little bit.